Counselling Skills for Managers

From period to period a member of your staff, or a colleague, can ask for a ‘quiet word’ in order to share a complex problem or worry. It can be a sensitive work-related issue or something to do with their life outside work. It has taken some courage for them to approach you and they can be feeling emotional or nervous.

This is an important part of a manager’s job, but it is usually evaded, because of a feeling that it is only for qualified experts. Here are some straightforward guidelines:

1. Put yourself in their shoes. How could you like to be treated?

2. Judge how much of your time it can take. If possible deal with it immediately or.

3. Agree a time when you are least probable to be interrupted.

4. Agree a place. If it’s your office, do not sit behind your desk.

5. 95% of your task is to listen. Don’t talk much about yourself.

6. Stay relaxed, but show by your facial expression, body language and tone of voice that you are interested and concerned for them.

7. Show understanding and empathy from period to period in whatever way seems appropriate.

8. Do not be embarrassed by silences. Let them set the pace.

9. Don’t be embarrassed by their emotion. Have available a box of tissues.

10. Ask for explanation on any points if it seems necessary.

11. Very briefly review your understanding of the situation using phrases like ‘It sounds as if ...’, ‘From what you say it seems as if …’

12. Ask if there is anything practical you will do to help.

13. It can be appropriate for them to see someone else. Be aware of the options and discuss them if required.

14. Agree on some form of follow-up (if they need it) and keep in touch.

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