From time to time a member of your employees, or a
colleague, can ask for a ‘quiet word’ in order to share a difficult worry or problem.
It can be a sensitive work-related issue or something to do with their life
outside work. It has perhaps taken some courage for them to approach you and
they can be feeling nervous or emotional.
This is a significant part of a manager’s job, but it is usually
evaded, because of a feeling that it is only for qualified experts. Here are
some simple guidelines:
1. Put yourself in
their shoes. How should you like to be treated?
2. Judge how much of
your time it may take. If possible deal with it straight away or.
3. Agree a time when
you are not expected to be interrupted.
4. Agree a place. If
it’s your office, don’t sit at the back your desk.
5. 95% of your job is
to listen. Do not talk about yourself.
6. Stay calm, but
show by your body language, facial expression and manner of voice that you are
interested and concerned for them.
7. Show empathy and understanding
from time to time in whatever way seems suitable.
8. Don’t be uncomfortable
by silences. Let them set the pace.
9. Don’t be
embarrassed by their emotion.
10. Ask for explanation on any points if it seems essential.
11. Very briefly summarize your understanding of the
situation by phrases like ‘From what you say it seems as if …’, ‘It sounds as
if ...’.
12. Ask if there is something practical you can do to help.
13. It will be appropriate for them to look someone else. Be
aware of the choices and discuss them if required.
14. Agree on some form of follow-up and keep in touch.
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